My bff Cini and I talked about starting this blog a long time ago…I was very excited about it from the start, eagerly anticipating the different topics we’d cover as well as the feedback we’d get. So far, she has written a few entries as well as her other bff Zulaika, but as you can see, NADA from me!
Why is that? Initially I told myself I was waiting for a really juicy “friend experience” to occur so I’d have something really interesting to blog about. Then I convinced myself that this just wasn’t a good idea. I mean, who would care about my experiences and theories?? I never told Cini any of this (well, not until now haha) and whenever she’d bring the handbook up, I’d give a half-hearted “oh yeah, gotta do that!” response and attempt to change the subject.
One of my New Year resolutions was to be more honest with myself. Only after that commitment was I able to admit the true reason behind my lack of interest in the handbook. My efforts to stall had nothing to do with a deficiency of friend stories or resolving it was just pointless. It was straight up, good old fashioned fear. What if I couldn’t efficiently relay the point I was trying to make? What if I’m judged and deemed not a good friend? What if the advice I give is horrible? Can I handle being brutally honest and equally receptive when that brutality is returned?? All these questions I struggled with and they heavily influenced my delay…
Then I made an interesting observation. On a recent trip, my mom and I stayed with her bff (Auntie Ros) and I was able to reconnect with Auntie Ros, as well as her daughter and granddaughter Ashley who is 18. I hadn’t seen Ashley since she was a toddler so we did some catching up. During the conversation, she told me about an issue she was having with her circle of friends and it was almost identical to an incident I’d had myself with my friends just last year! On another day, I sat back and listened to my mom and Auntie Ros reminisce about how they became friends and learned that they too had endured the EXACT same situation (in an attempt to keep this as short as possible, I will go into detail about this situation on another entry, I promise!). Upon this discovery, I wondered if I would’ve handled my own experience differently had I had my mom and bff’s approach to consider. Or if it would benefit Ashley to discover she’s not the only person dealing with this issue. Either way, how cool would it be to have an open forum to talk about, vent, and read about the friendships we all have? To offer encouraging words to those in a tough circumstance with their friends and offer opinions based on our own experiences. What’s to fear about that, right??
So this is my personal declaration. I’m ready to be more open in hopes that as a result, I become a better friend. And if my experiences can provide an alternative view to those dealing with the same issue, the best friend handbook will be nothing short of a success!!
~By Nicole C. Fruga
